EPISODE 81: The New Theatre, Cardiff (H), Leg 3
25 October 2021
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TOP QUOTES
‘It’s a gutsy booking, I’ll be honest with you’ – Steff
‘I feel by the time you hear this, Mike will have been allowed back on Facebook’ – Steff
‘I don’t know if you’ve ever been offered a righteous line’ – Elis
‘… it’s like Combat-18 meets Saga’ – Mike
‘Dad, do not show them your cock’ – Mike
‘Do the fucking freestyle then! It’s a race! A to B as fast as you can, you dildo – Mike
‘There’s no other sport in the world where you find a shitter, slower way of doing something and they get another fucking gold medal’ – Mike
‘I wouldn’t walk through Cardiff dressed like that for a hundred grand’ – Elis
‘Babes in a circle jerk’ – Mike
‘I didn’t need a piss, Stefan, read between the lines’ – Mike
‘I didn’t want to disappoint Kojak’ – Mike
‘It’s not really like the Edinburgh Festival, this crowd’ – Elis
‘I’m not particularly spiritual and I never get a shag’ – Mike
‘Imagine the egg on your dick now’ – Mike
‘If you want to attend a gig that has ample toilets…’ – Elis
‘He is a Jack bastard’ – Mike
‘Please let it be something white collar’ – Elis
‘Bullies are cowards. No they’re not’ – Elis
‘I’ve come two miles for this gig’ – Mike
‘Ninth place my arse!’ – Mike

CLIPS
Sorba Thomas first cap – link – (Mike)
Newport County fan – link – (Steff)
Barbarians try, 1973 – link – (Mike)
Kimbo Slice – link – (Listeners’)
Malcolm Allen commentary skills – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 82: Tyne Theatre & Opera House, Newcastle (a)
1 November 2021
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TOP QUOTES
‘If you are the person who said that, you’re a dick – and if I find out who you are, I’ll smash your face in’ – Mike
‘I’ve got a lot of money on one of us dying’ – Steff
‘He said he could see his sphincter’ – Elis
‘She’s too spiteful to die’ – Mike
‘Cock and balls Val’ – Elis
‘I’ll have the one with the dick cheese on the rim’ – Mike
‘I’ve got tits’ – Mike
‘I was the second person in my school to masturbate effectively’ – Mike
‘They’re well within their rights not to like my sweary opening’ – Elis

CLIPS
Geordie Boys, Gazza, TOTP – link – (Mike)
Peter Beardsley World in Motion – link – (Steff)
Newcastle United fans at Peterborough, 26 September 1992, Division 2 – link – (Elis)
Aston Villa v Norwich – the worst goal – link – (Elis)
Newcastle fan at the Stadium of Light – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 83: The EICC, Edinburgh (a)
8 November 2021
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TOP QUOTES
‘We were like three Winston Churchills. Making a bad situation worse’ – Mike
‘If I was known for one thing, having a nice big dick, I’d be happy with that’ – Mike
‘I haven’t seen beneath the sheath’ – Mike
‘His dick will live on’- Mike
‘I look an absolute mess naked’ – Elis
‘What if he tells me off?’ – Elis
‘I wasn’t rough, I was hard. There’s a difference’ – Mike
‘When did honesty become a bad thing?’ – Elis
‘Your dad’s a eugenicist’ – Mike
‘At no point did I say, “Kelly uses a dildo”’ – Steff
‘I don’t like piping as a thing’ – Steff
‘Kilts are creepy’ – Elis
‘I just got called a Gavin And Stacey wanker’ – Mike
‘It suddenly all went Begbie’ – Mike
‘… which I have no opinion on’ – Mike

CLIPS
Alan Wells 1982 Commonwealth Games – link – (Mike)
Wales v Scotland rugby flasher on BBC Wales – link – (Mike)
Scotland’s cricket players singing – link – (Steff)
Scotland’s Yes, Sir I Can Boogie – link – (Mike)
Scotland players after qualifying for Euro 2020 – link – (Steff)
Graeme Souness tackle – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 84: The Alexandra Theatre, Birmingham (a)
15 November 2021
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TOP QUOTES
‘Only two more episodes to get through, pal’ – Steff
‘He rapidly left my good books’ – Mike
‘I’m not pro-Thatcher’ – Mike
‘I would turn down a lordship’ – Mike
‘Is it the three of us Royal Rumble style?’ – Steff
‘I’d kick Steff in his knee really hard’ – Mike
‘Sectarianism. Bloody hell’ – Elis
‘The pigeon does fuck all and I drive straight over it’ – Elis
‘… and whatever Kelly and the kids want’ – Mike
‘I had three breakfasts yesterday’ – Mike
‘You’d have made a great Roman emperor’ – Elis
‘I see Steff walking down the road, sweating like a prick’ – Mike
‘I embrace people of all trousers’ – Steff
‘Would you get into a fight to defend your purple paisley flares?’ – Steff
‘I’ve got two suits!’ – Elis
‘I have essence of Carphone Warehouse’ – Elis
‘I think, “my good deed for the day: I’ll take the dildo downstairs”’ – Mike
‘When you were trying to get the butt plug off your garage roof, were you wearing gloves?’ – Elis
‘One very quick dildo story…’ – Mike
‘Who’s got a third dildo story?’ – Elis
‘What? My long ball bag?’ – Mike
‘The Socially Distant Dildo Bar?’ – Steff

CLIPS
Commonwealth Games advert – link – (Steff)
The Bullring shopping centre – link – (Elis)
Chinos on a train platform – link – (Steff)
Steward scores with a dildo – link – (Mike)
Geraint Jones catch at the Edgbaston 2005 Test v Australia – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 85: Ulster Hall, Belfast (a)
22 November 2021
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TOP QUOTES
‘Elis is phoning Pizza Express for an emergency pizza’ – Steff
‘I’m not going to double egg at that time of the morning’ – Elis
‘If she is a Patreon, Miranda, I apologise’ – Mike
‘Three good legs on it’ – Mike
‘This is not sexy nan. This is the other nan’ – Mike
‘We’re gonna show a Benny Hill sketch and get the fuck out of here’ – Mike
‘“Sorry about that lads, he needed educating”’ – Mike
‘I thought Mike was being fairly reserved until I found out it was his second breakfast’ – Elis
‘You make Barry in the early 80s sound like The Hunger Games’ – Elis
‘I think it was a forearm – and then I told the referee to fuck off’ – Mike
‘Cock And Balls Rob and Dave Doodlemoose have collaborated’ – Steff
‘Why did the semen have to land on me?’ – Elis
‘Elis, I want you to know, as a friend, I would never jizz on your head’ – Mike
‘It’s gonna be an eye-opener for my kids…’ – Mike
‘He wasn’t aiming there’ – Mike
‘I like a pina colada, bit of a dance, and then spunk on someone’s leg. That’s me. A tale as old as time’ – Mike
‘Mike’s accountant has come to the gig dressed as Mike’ – Elis
‘Google syllables’ – Mike
‘Nothing about your conversation today says that you were after “wholesome”’ – Steff
‘If Kelly ate like you, I would call the police’ – Elis
‘Now I look a bit like a sex offender’ – Mike
‘It’s an incredible double bluff, the way you dress’ – Elis

CLIPS
Rory McIlroy at the Ryder Cup – link – (Listeners)
Jimmy Nesbitt at the Carl Frampton fight – link – (Steff)
Football in the snow – link – (Mike)
The Shamen signing Ebeneezer Goode at Highbury – link – (Elis)
Dana and the 1982 Northern Ireland squad – link – (Listeners)

EPISODE 86: Bitten By A Radioactive Sandy Lyle
29 November 2021
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TOP QUOTES
‘My dick, my terms’ – Mike
‘Obviously comedy is an easier gig than being, say, a diamond miner’ – Mike
‘I’ve had a colonic irrigation’ – Steff
‘…she’s berating him for having shit that smells’ – Elis
‘…Christ on a bike, you have an evacuation’ – Steff
‘Steffan Castrol GTX’ – Elis
‘Sell some space on Vic’ – Steff
‘I’m watching lots of Bullseye’ – Mike
‘I live in constant fear of being arrested for a crime I did commit’ – Mike
‘I am a white, middle-class, mass murderer, who’s got away with shit-loads’ – Steff
‘I did my Spider-Man bit… put on my trousers’ – Mike
‘I do miss meaningless sex’ – Mike
‘If she’s listening to this in 20 years’ time, she’s got issues’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Wimbledon v Man Utd, FA Cup 1994 – link – (Elis)
Joe Ledley dancing – link – (Steff)
Fallon Sherrock’s darts 170 finish – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Long Shot – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Rebound goal misses – link – (Elis)
Best referee – link – (Steff)
Christ Tshiunza First cap – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Full Gas by Peter Cossins – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 87: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Puke
6 December 2021
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TOP QUOTES
‘I could’ve rubbed my mouth against his face’ – Elis
‘If you ever see me in a black shirt with red roses on it, I’m well over my ideal weight‘ – Mike
‘It’s your cry for help shirt’ – Steff
‘Could you wank?’ – Elis
‘I’ll tell you what I said to his mum. Show me the jacket’ – Mike
‘Strap a funnel to everyone?’ – Steff
‘I could do a PhD in piss drinking’ – Elis
‘Will you stop saying “carrying on”?’ – Steff
‘I just wish I could feel love’ – Elis
‘I don’t know why we’re trying to write Nigel Farage’s manifesto for him’ – Elis
‘Big fan of Elis James’ – Elis
‘It’s what Franco would have wanted’ – Steff

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Seve Ballesteros at the 1979 Open – link – (Mike)
Dai Bishop interview – link – (Elis)
Jordan Mailata – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Too Good To Go Down – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Kevin Sinfield walks 100 miles – link – (Steff)
Behind the scenes at Anfield – link – (Elis)
The perfect spiral – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Cardiff Schools Rugby 2019-2020 – (Mike)

EPISODE 88: You Trample The Dead… You Hurdle The Weak…
13 December 2021
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TOP QUOTES
‘Podcast-wise, the freezer has to come first’ – Elis
‘We’ve lost your fish fingers’ – Elis
‘If I’m gonna be some big nine-foot swan, let’s cause some chaos’ – Elis
‘You don’t want to be Father Christmas for four weeks’ – Mike
‘I want to get away from roles which are jolly’ – Mike
‘I do give money to deaf people in general’ – Elis
‘What are vitamins made of?’ – Steff
‘If I could drink a can of spunk and look like that, I would do it’ – Mike
‘…licked by Mike Bubbins’ – Steff
‘From 11 onwards, it’s all downhill’ – Steff
‘I bought some hand cream last year’ – Mike
‘I’m probably 15 minutes away from having a working freezer’ – Elis
‘I’m not sucking off my freezer’ – Steff
‘He literally cares more about that freezer than any kids’ – Mike
‘The writing’s tiny and there’s loads of pages’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Carl Frampton eats a Mince Pie for the first time – link – (Steff)
Carwyn James singing in Russian – link – (Elis)
Rugby header – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
As Good As It Gets – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Thiago and Rodri – link – (Elis)
Caerau Ely RFC – link – (Mike)
Ice Hockey in Scotland in the 1960s – link – (Steff)
BOOK
No Hunger In Paradise by Michael Calvin – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 89: The Cat Will Think It’s a Worm And Try To Eat It
20 December 2021
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TOP QUOTES
‘As one of the biggest-selling comedians in Cardiff, I’ve not been invited to this thing’ – Steff
‘You slept in a manger?’ – Mike
‘Don’t see God taking him to McDonald’s on a Sunday’ – Steff
‘I played the role of gift’ – Elis
‘I never expected anyone to care about me’ – Elis
‘Uncle John told me, when I was about seven or eight, that if a cat saw my willy, it would think it was a worm and try to eat it’ – Mike
‘One of the great condiments, English mustard’ – Elis
‘It’s given me a boner‘ – Mike
‘I’d love to be a Horlicks athlete’ – Mike
‘I ride a motorbike like I would imagine Miss Marple rides a motorbike’ – Mike
‘Bon-fucking-jour, mate’ – Elis
‘I’m not thick or dead’ – Steff
‘Croissant and a hand job over here’ – Steff
‘Wind gets on my nerves’ – Elis
‘Something’s gone up my nose, boys’ – Elis

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Steven Page and Ryan Reynolds – link – (Mike)
Roy Keane and Jamie Carragher argue – link – (Elis)
Newport High School try – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Flight Mode by Tom Pages – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
The San Diego splash – link & link – (Mike)
Steve Ford scores five tries in 1995 for Pontypool RFC vs Cardiff RFC – link – (Elis)
Kerry GAA player kicking a ball into a storm – link – (Steff)
BOOK
Geronimo! Riding The Very Terrible 1914 Tour of Italy by Tim Moore – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 90: From Russia With Bubbs
27 December 2021
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TOP QUOTES
‘There’s shit on the walls… not literally shit’ – Mike
‘Two-thirds of the pod is fine with it’ – Mike
‘I looked at my skirting boards yesterday – and I felt humiliated’ – Elis
‘… he had a big Geiger counter’ – Mike
‘She said, “You trust Steff, don’t you?”’ – Elis
‘…pretending to give the corner flag a blowie’ – Steff
‘Choke him out is perfectly cool’ – Steff
‘I am a world-class skimmer’ – Mike
‘I’m good at cleverness‘ – Elis
‘There’s not much I can’t do’ – Mike
‘Have you seen these fucking dickheads on… chefs?’ – Mike
‘Can he skim a stone though?’ – Mike
‘If you’ve got a Transit, you can join any band in Britain’ – Mike
‘Opticians are all full of shit’ – Mike
‘Doctor Cock Tease, more like’ – Mike
‘My daughter’s playing Martin Luther King’ – Mike
‘Let’s not get Mike’s daughter cancelled’ – Steff
‘El is my sensei, if you will’ – Mike
‘Doing this S4C show isn’t going to get you a cap’ – Steff
‘I should point out that Mike had to lean to the side – and that was the noise he made’ – Steff

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Frank Rijkaard spits at Rudi Voller, Italia ‘90 – link – (Elis)
Welsh bobsleigh – link – (Steff)
Billy Vunipola 20m disciplinary march – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Trent’s Vision – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Welsh football revolution – link – (Steff)
David Michael Clough – link – (Mike)
The best of Steve Bull – link – (Elis)
BOOK
Dragons And Lions by Steve Fenwick – link – (Mike)

EPISODE 91: Bilbo Bubbins
3 January 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I’ve been an unpopular boss in the past’ – Steff
‘Happy Covid anniversary’ – Steff
‘I’m one of the most dangerous comics out there’ – Elis
‘Best case scenario, I’m probably a drug dealer’ – Mike
‘I look like a complete whopper in any hat ever made’ – Elis
‘I don’t want to look like a trucker’ – Steff
‘The landline is on a doilie’- Elis
‘I would honestly rather be burnt alive than take a shit in front of Isy’ – Elis
‘My feet are now pubic piss’ – Steff
‘My kids often play on the pubic piss mat’ – Elis
‘Soggy biscuit 72 to 83 was a bit of a non-starter’ – Mike
‘This is the anti-TikTok’ – Mike
‘Was the moving house stuff on air?’ – Mike
‘You can call him a right nobhead’ – Mike
‘She likes Cardiff, she likes the pub’ – Mile
‘That is a heavy edit’ – Mike
‘Where I said, “You’d be mad to pay that”, lose all that’ – Mike
‘Mike kicked a router off the wall and that ended the second round of clips’ – Steff
‘My daughter listed a bunch of comedians the other day – and you made the list, Steff’ – Mike
‘Bubs is going to teach me how to be a man’ – Mike
‘I’m not going to try to give you kidney damage or anything’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Yellow Pages ad with Graham Taylor and Bobby Robson – link – (Elis)
Matchbox rugby – link – (Steff)
Sam Kerr vs pitch invader – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Faster – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Robbie Savage on Charlie Savage’s Manchester United debut – link & link – (Mike)
Rock, Paper, Scissors for ice hockey stick – link – (Steff)
David Ellery micd up and being shouted at by Tony Adams – link – (Elis)
BOOK
It’s Always Summer Somewhere: A Matter of Life and Cricket by Felix White – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 92: The Gold Blenders
10 January 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Not a peg when your missus bums you’ – Mike
‘My attitude towards you having a wig is “stupid idea, grow up” – Steff
‘No, I thought it was a shit idea’ – Mike
‘I essentially refereed from the halfway line’ – Mike
‘You are talking about being buttoned to a lamppost’ – Elis
‘This is not meant to sound like I’ve got a bigger dick than anyone else’ – Mike
‘Jools Holland is a liar’ – Steff
‘At the end, they have sex, don’t they?’ – Elis
‘Gold Blend: Better Than Arseholes’ – Steff
‘We will not have professionals on this podcast’ – Steff
‘If that is not legal, and you’re from the Vale of Glamorgan Council, I’m only joking’ – Mike
‘If you’re listening to this, and you want to kick my arse, let me know’ – Mike
‘Why admire fat grapes so untasty?’ – Mike
‘I like wine!’ – Steff
‘It would’ve been cheaper to go to a prostitute. Much cheaper’ – Mike
‘The Maxwell House lot have gone’ – Steff
‘Here’s an idea: Fucking Google it, dickhead’ – Mike
‘Take your key, write it on your MP’s car’ – Steff
‘I think nothing of walking through sheep shit, cow shit, horse shit’ – Steff

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Brian Moore ‘My Goodness’ compilation – link – (Elis)
Cliff Davies diving – link – (Mike)
Jones boys beating the USA at 4×110-yard relay – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
The Kings – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Klaus Fischer demonstrating a bicycle kick in the studio at the age of 66 – link & link – (Elis)
Efe Obada story – link – (Steff)
Clydebank FC – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Above Head Height: A Five-A-Side Life by James Brown – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 93: Carry On Up The Butts
17 January 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I’m less confident about beating a 15-stone Mike’ – Elis
‘I’ll just do a wide receiver stance’ – Mike
‘I think I’ll tonk you at 20 – and keep tonking you ’til 100’ – Mike
‘Based on zero… other than my obesity’ – Mike
‘He’s pulled out a card reader’ – Mike
‘I said the immortal words, too: “Watch this”’ – Mike
‘It’s like a single entendre’ – Steff
‘…be fat with a good right arm’ – Steff
‘Me and Graeme Swann got absolutely mullered’ – Mike
‘I told you tardiness pays off in the long run’ – Steff
‘Cunt?’ – Elis
‘Motherfucker’s higher than cunt’ – Steff
‘When you miss the bin, you feel like such a tit’ – Elis
‘If I run as fast as I can, I’ll – fingers crossed – be the second-fastest person on this podcast’ – Elis
‘Downstairs have bought a fucking dog’ – Elis
‘Are you trying to sell your shoes?’ – Steff
‘It was unfair and it wasn’t my fault’ – Steff
‘It will be a pleasure to take you both up the Butts’ – Mike
‘Sorry, I’m still laughing at Mike taking Kelly up the Butts’ – Elis
‘I’m a sitter’ – Elis
‘I live every day like I’m halfway through my life’ – Elis
‘She really flowered, really came into her own, in the 35 years she had post-Mike’ – Elis
‘Potty mouth’ – Mike
‘Why is sliding so good?’ – Elis
‘Harvey Keitel him’ – Elis

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Darts, Wayne Mardle: ‘Why wasn’t I told?’ – link – (Mike)
The 1970s introduction of jogging – link – (Steff)
Two of the best disallowed goals ever, both by Andy Carroll in the same game – link – (Elis)
DOCUMENTARY
14 Peaks – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Mike Rayer and Ieuan Evans scoring tries in the mud, Wales v Scotland 1994 – link – (Elis)
Tottenham’s Son Heung-min waves at kid – link – (Steff)
Mark Williams eight balls his son – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Mickey Thomas – Kick-ups, Hiccups, Lock-ups – link – (Mike)

EPISODE 94: Grubs And Slobs
24 January 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Very good afternoon to HMRC’ – Steff
‘I love spending it on Trident’ – Elis
‘Snowflake Bubbs is off again’ – Mike
‘I ejaculated on the hamster’ – Elis
‘I didn’t realise you podcasted in the Sam Fox position’ – Elis
‘After this, I’ll get the peas out’ – Elis
‘Imagine telling Isy I’d shot the telly because the Swans have lost to Huddersfield’ – Elis
‘Do you constantly dribble urine from your penis?’ – Elis
‘I would class myself as semi-continent’ – Elis
‘Have you thought about throwing bricks and stones at the bus?’ – Elis

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Swansea in the 1990s – link – (Elis)
John Higgins and Mark Williams, then and now – link – (Mike)
Clara Hughes: Medalist at Summer and Winter Olympics – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Everybody’s Game – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Max Rushden talking about Cambridge Utd in the FA Cup – link – (Elis)
NFL on Nickolodeon – link, link, link, link – (Steff)
Scott Boland’s Ashes 6 for 7 – link – and Pat Cummins with Khawaja – link – (Mike)
BOOK
All American Murder by James Patterson – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 95: A Black Cowboy Shirt With White Pearl Buttons And A Red Paisley Yoke. With A Bootlace Tie With A Big Eagle On It
31 January 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Elis is playing the role of a Dublin taxi driver’ – Mike
‘Let’s talk about maps’ – Elis
‘I’d love to live forever. Be fucking great’ – Mike
‘I had to heckle myself’ – Mike
‘I’m not a follower, I’m a setter’ – Mike
‘People really laughed at you, Mike’ – Elis
‘I couldn’t find espadrilles’ – Mike
‘I’m too thin and pale for a shaved head’ – Elis
‘Someone on this podcast is not pulling their weight when it comes to all of the form-filling for the solicitors’ – Elis
‘She thinks I’m tragic’ – Mike
‘You know that glass island, where they make all the fuckin’ glass shit?’ – Mike
‘The Bob Bubbins’ cock category award goes to…’ – Steff
‘It’ll clear up. Give me two weeks’ – Mike
‘That’s mostly what they go for: clean cocks’ – Steff
‘He almost had a heart attack – and I thought it was hilarious’ – Mike
‘I bet, Mike, you look absolutely horrific first thing’ – Elis
‘That was the one caveat: no snogging’ – Mike
‘Don’t put your knob in the way of it’ – Mike
‘Happy Meal away?’ – Steff
‘Fuck off, it’s a train’ – Steff
‘I was having a slash at Lee Delamere. I could not believe my eyes’ – Elis
‘Comes in leaky, dribble, and loads of piss’ – Steff
‘None of the Lithuanian boys had good moustaches’ – Mike
‘If Pampers are listening…’ – Mike
‘Look at your bloody genetics!’ – Elis
‘I’m a fat prick and I need to lose weight‘ – Mike
‘…and I’ve got a big dick’ – Mike
‘It’s not my fuckin’ vagina going back with me at the end of the night, is it?!’ – Mike
‘You don’t get this with Peter Crouch, do you?’ – Elis
‘Those are the tasting notes: tastes like coffee’ – Steff

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Holder of the Year – link – (Mike)
Richard Hibbard retires from rugby – link – (Steff)
Graham Stack hitting a fan – link – (Elis)
DOCUMENTARY
The Other Dream Team – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
British Skier FINALLY wins a World Cup Race – link – (Steff)
Harry Redknapp gets kissed by pitch invaders – link – (Elis)
Tim Rosaforte’s Righteous Pint – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Game On. The Unstoppable Rise of Women’s Sport by Sue Anstiss – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 96: Any Blood In Your Semen?
7 February 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘They were lovely and sympathetic and taking the piss’ – Mike
‘Bad news about the Covid. Sorry, pal’ – Mike
‘At one point, I collapsed on the way to Tesco’ – Mike
‘Just trying to show off about the quality of shit you get where you live’ – Mike
‘That sounds like bullshit’ – Steff
‘Fix my knee and leave my semen alone’ – Elis
‘I reckon I could go from flaccid to ejaculate in two minutes. I’m not doing it now’ – Mike
‘High five. Back to Newsnight’ – Elis
‘I’m in the pocket of big worming’ – Mike
‘My specialty is knees and semen’ – Elis
‘Can I just say, I love the listeners’ – Mike
‘I’m not a huge fan of the way things are done in Saudi Arabia. But if they want to pay us £22m…’ – Mike
‘Right! Listen! I need to check all of your semen for blood’ – Elis
‘No more Mr Nice Guy’ – Mike
‘… and by “we”, I mean “I”’ – Steff
‘Get James Dean Bradfield to do the Terry and June theme’ – Mike
‘As soon as he wakes up, hit him again’ – Mike
‘Young little twat there, Elis James, with his boring statistics’ – Mike
‘I never thought you’d compare yourself to Henry Kissinger’ – Elis
‘He needs to cry a little bit’ – Steff
‘I’ll get back on my heavy reading schedule this week’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Jack Nicklaus. The Master – link – (Mike)
Sepak Takraw – link – (Steff)
What Pep Guardiola has learnt from rugby – link – (Elis)
DOCUMENTARY
Robbo – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
John McEnroe v spectator – link – (Elis)
Ten Pin Bowling arrives in the UK – link – (Steff)
Matthew Stafford, 2009 – link – (Mike)
BOOK
(Not a book) – link – (Mike)

EPISODE 97: I’d Rather Be a Eunuch
14 February 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘It was nice to have the insight of a seven-year-old girl’ – Steff
‘I’m not here to slag people out‘ – Mike
‘I’m gonna go and stand over there and pretend I don’t know her’ – Elis
‘Stalin had a good moustache’ – Mike
‘Quite odd people, the Swiss’ – Mike
‘If you’ve worked for the council, you can fuck up every day of your professional life and, as long as you don’t fiddle with someone, you’re not gonna get fired’ – Mike
‘Mike, it’s shit and you’re overweight’ – Elis
‘He’s not Harvey Weinstein – but he’s not a good egg’ – Mike on Elis
‘All the real, proper weirdos were voting for it’ – Mike
‘Bob Von Bubbins?’ – Elis
‘There’s a bit of Serbia or Croatia you want us to take over?’ – Steff
‘I don’t want to be called Muhammad Ali Jr’ – Steff
‘I said, “fuck off, an acting coach”’ – Mike
‘Bubbins is having an affair’ – Elis
‘I don’t need ’em. Cut ’em off’ – Mike
‘It’s unlikely that Dirk Benedict listens to this podcast’ – Mike
‘Piss everywhere. I cannot stress that enough’ – Elis

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Six-foot, seven inch, 290lbs Swiss shot putter: World Champion Werner Gunthor in training – link – (Steff)
How Alex Ferguson tactically adapted at Manchester United – link – (Elis)
Adrian Clifton, Borehamwood FC – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
The Trials Of Muhammad Ali – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Bill Murray golfing – link – (Mike)
Athlete Jake Smith buys footballs for kids in Uganda – link – (Steff)
Gareth Edwards try v Scotland 1972 – link – (Elis)
BOOK
Alun Yr Arth – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 98: You’re Sitting On My Catheter
21 February 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I got hauled over the coals’ – Mike
‘I got called a nonce the other day on Twitter’ – Elis
‘It feels like we’re on a weird YouTube channel’ – Steff
‘Are you on commission from Russell Grant?’ – Mike
‘Hitler and astrology’ – Mike
‘Your Google searches are fucking mad’ – Steff
‘…just my charisma and my penis’ – Mike
‘Do you know what I find fascinating? Doggerland’ – Mike
‘Some old people are real wankers’ – Mike
‘I just thought, “You utter twat”’ – Mike
‘She’s obsessed with jail and boarding school’ – Elis
‘One of my weakest points, my neck’ – Elis
‘He’s big and he’s fat and his name’s Steve’ – Mike
‘I’ve never sat there and watched Matt Le Tissier, and thought, “You grammar is really poor”’ – Steff
‘You’re a dick in both languages’ – Mike
‘You’re literally shooting yourself in the foot, you fucking dildo’ – Mike
‘It’s called growth, you knob’ – Mike
‘You said, and I quote, “fish cakes please”’ – Mike
‘If I wore what he wore, I would look utterly ridiculous’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Scotland at the 1986 World Cup. Great summary from Gordon Strachan at the end – link – (Elis)
Bobby Jones Golf Lesson 1933 – link – (Mike)
Lyndsey Jacobellis wins gold – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Home Game – Pehlwani – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Ieuan and Shane talk Bill McLaren – link – (Mike)
Superbowl 2022 half-time show – link – (Steff)
Bobby Robson finds out Ron Saunders has resigned from his job at manager of Aston Villa – link – (Elis)
BOOK
The Homes of Football: Where The Heart Is by Stuart Roy Clarke – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 99: Tell Me About Cantre’r Gwaelod Again Richard
28 February 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘There’s a helicopter right over my head’ – Mike
‘I’ll get my dick out in public if I want to’ – Mike
‘Did you enjoy the taste of piss in your pint?’ – Elis
‘Food’s great’ – Elis
‘You double techd?’ – Steff
‘My bridge smashed all the records’ – Mike
‘I’d have been a very good Hugo Boss in the 1930s’ – Mike
‘Something would’ve gone seriously wrong if I get frostbite’ – Elis
‘I’m always asleep within 15 seconds of finishing’ – Mike
‘Do it again, El. I’ve got a wicked boner’ – Mike
‘You can’t fuck with the sea, can you?’ – Mike
‘Imagine how much the sea weighs’ – Mike
‘The Japanese are doing it. They’ve nicked my idea!’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Richard Burton and Liz Taylor in Cardiff for the rugby – link – (Elis)
Llywelyn Williams, Surfer – link – (Mike)
Jimmy Watkins and Running Punks – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Max Boyce meets the Dallas Cowboys – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
THE tackle (Gavin Henson) – link – (Mike)
Tomos, 11 years old, loves rugby, sausage and chips – link – (Steff)
Wales 2 England 1 from 1955 – link – (Elis)
BOOK
An Illustrated History of Welsh Rugby by James Stafford – link – (Mike)

EPISODE 100: The Dick, Kerr Ladies Social Media Department
7 March 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘The man has got an arm like a fucking cannon’ – Elis
‘His arm should be in prison’ – Elis
‘I occasionally put my car keys in a crack’ – Elis
‘Anyone want a game of Oppressor’s Bulldogs?’ – Steff
‘I’ve got a cracking book’ – Mike
‘Elis had a bikini on. Nobody knows why’ – Mike
‘Gladys Knight’s second serve was dogshit’ – Steff
‘I can rock and go’ – Elis
‘I do draw the line at daffodil headdresses’ – Mike
‘Keen to step up and be part of the problem’ – Steff

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Dick, Kerr Ladies – link & link & link – (Elis)
Teacher Ms Fitz throwing a long-shot basketball – link – (Mike)
Botille Vette-Welsh has arrived! – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Venus And Serena – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Beth Tweddle’s gymnastics floor gold at the 2009 World Championships – link – (Mike)
Sisilia: The latest Tuipulotu – link & link – (Steff)
Vivianne Miedema’s pass for Arsenal – link – (Elis)
BOOK
Out and Back: A Runner’s Story of Survival Against All Odds by Hillary Allen – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 101: Bowling Warnie
14 March 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I’ve been multi-tasking to the extreme’ – Mike
‘It’s an enjoyable ball-ache’ – Mike
‘I reckon I could do 11’ – Elis
‘You don’t wanna be a chubby winner’ – Steff
‘That’ll be great for your personality’ – Steff
‘I quite like processed foods’ – Steff
‘Are we talking a Boaster?’ – Steff
‘Elis will happily eat 12 fruit pastilles in a go’ – Mike
‘Fruit Gums can get fucked’ – Elis
‘I had to dress as a Russian’ – Mike
‘I’ve got lots of blueys, mate. Let me know’ – Mike
‘Absolute Guardian puppet’ – Mike
‘If we start talking about Putin, will that help the world?’ – Steff
‘What’s the one with ewoks in it?’ – Mike
‘Like a talking gerbil, basically’ – Mike
‘Bears are essentially dogs’ – Mike
‘Bubbs could be Merv Hughes?’ – Elis
‘I grow my own moustache, mate’ – Mike
‘I’ve done it. I’ve thrown a hat’ – Mike
‘Tipping a pint over your own head is funny’ – Mike
‘I would be a single-issue conversationalist’ – Elis
‘I just can’t imagine John Emburey ending up with Ronnie Wood’ – Mike
‘You’re the sort of person that Shane Warne would not have approved of’ – Mike
‘My mortgage is based on this working relationship’ – Elis
‘I wouldn’t give the time of day to the non-Patreons’ – Mike
‘I’m, uh, Mike Hubbins’ – Elis

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Shane Warne reading Brendon McCullum’s mind – link – (Elis)
Shane Warne bowling to Ricky Ponting, with Ian Healy keeping – link – (Mike)
Young fan angry at Shane Warne getting out for 99 – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Shane – link – (All)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Shane Warne’s top five wickets – link – (Mike)
Shane Warne’s spinning masterclass – link – (Elis)
Shane Warne playing AFL – link – (Steff)
BOOK
On Warne by Gideon Haigh – link – (All)

EPISODE 102: Listen To You With Your Chilean Merlot
21 March 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Kris Kristofferson, 10 King Road, Ipswich’ – Elis
‘I’m wiping spit off the fourth wall with my sleeve‘ – Elis
‘It makes me feel creeped out whenever I hear ABBA’ – Steff
‘It’s the idiots… not idiots… I’ve said it now. It’s out there’ – Mike
‘I’m very well aware that I’m a massive hypocrite’ – Steff
‘I looked like a wanker somehow’ – Elis
‘He thinks he’s Lord God Almighty, having a shit’ – Mike
‘Little Lord Fauntleroy chewing his food…’ – Elis
‘Kel, a pound a week’s a pound a week’ – Mike
‘The basket of a cunt… I just say it as I see it. You shop like a cunt’ – Elis
‘Fair play to you on the ol’ BAFTAs. I thought you started weak, if I’m honest. You were singing within yourself, Shirl. You’re just ring rusty. Anyway, take care’ – Mike
‘Who’s the Sinn Fein fella?’ – Mike
‘It was news to BP, I think’ – Mike
‘I’ve never done anything that brave in my life – and I never will’ – Elis
‘This is something I can talk about with some authority. This is getting hit in the nuts’ – Mike
‘I have an illness and the illness is called compassionate empathy’ – Elis
‘Ball pain is the worst pain’ – Elis
‘You can’t train your balls’ – Mike
‘Why didn’t you take ecstasy and have a good night?’ – Elis
‘More people should be on Newsnight saying “I reckon”, “I cannot back this up”’ – Steff
‘I impress myself all the time’ – Mike
‘Can you just sew his skin to my skin?’ – Elis
‘I do like a quiche’ – Steff

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Kevin Keegan in Hamburg – link & link – (Elis)
Menna Fitzpatrick – link & link – (Steff)
Liam Livingstone is hit in the nuts twice in two balls – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
The Story Of The Kop – link & link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Tadgh Furlong sidestep – link – (Elis)
Mark Wood missing England’s cricket huddle – link – (Steff)
NFL players playing with their idols – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Collision Low Crossers: A Year Inside The Turbulent World of NFL Football by Nicolas Dawidoff – link – (Mike)

EPISODE 103: There Are More Deer In This Country Than There Were In The Days Of King Henry VIII. Fact.
28 March 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Eighty per cent of people under the age of 25 had a wanker’s email address’ – Elis
‘Let’s probably heavily edit that bit’ – Mike
‘Owning stuff is a weird one’ – Elis
‘That’s a lie’ – Mike
‘You could learn the oboe’ – Elis
‘Every car journey was just non-stop Blue’ – Mike
‘Just drink soy sauce and save yourself the hassle’ – Mike
‘They say nurses have it tough…’ – Elis
‘I go through all of Amazon’ – Steff
‘One dog, two balls’ – Mike
‘What sort of swear words can you get away with over there?’ – Mike
‘It is like a viper’s nest of fucking arsewipes’ – Mike
‘I’m going off the word “love”’ – Elis
‘I will hunt you down and kill you like a deer’ – Steff
‘I rarely have kittens’ – Steff
‘I’ll have to paraphrase Groucho Marx’ – Mike
‘Imagine sharing a house with that joyless prick’ – Mike
‘The 33 pence a week you were putting in my bank account… you can fuckin’ ram it where the sun doesn’t shine’ – Mike
‘People who don’t pay the Patreon: Hitler. Stalin. As far as I’m aware: Vladimir Putin’ – Mike
‘I can understand people leaving because they think I’m a knob’ – Mike
‘I’ll only tell Patreons to fuck off. That is my red line in the sand’ – Mike
‘He slips into Preston every now and then’ – Elis
‘Total football – plus you’ – Steff
‘You can’t blame yourself for genetics’ – Steff
‘Please don’t stick balloons up your children’s noses’ – Steff

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Man who identifies obscure sporting events in TV and movies – link – (Elis)
Australian sports presenter accidentally says ‘Bulging dick’ – link – (Steff)
Super Rugby red cards – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Ian Botham on Open To Question Q&A, Children’s BBC, 1986 – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Andrew Flintoff singing Elvis at the Big Bash – link – (Steff)
Football before the backpass rule – link – (Elis)
Josh Adams gives away his Player of the Match medal to Italy’s Ange Capuozzo – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Looking For A Fight by David Matthews – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 104: A Really Sharp Hat
4 April 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘It’s the sex one’ – Steff
‘It’s not fucking Question Time. Is there a boner in the film?’ – Mike
‘She was part appalled and part upset’ – Mike
‘I want my country back’ – Steff
‘At last I’ve got the moral high ground’ – Mike
‘What was his name? Big scary cunt who lived under a bridge’ – Mike
‘No one shot Derek Redmond in 92’ – Steff
‘My mind is a completely blank canvas’ – Elis
‘Loads of people are thick’ – Steff
‘I think I’d be quite a good leader’ – Mike
‘I’d have probably been in with those people chanting “wanker”’ – Steff
‘All right Barry Norman’ – Mike
‘What me and Mike have endured is longer than the game’ – Steff
‘I love booting the ball into the stand’ – Slis
‘They’d have shit a cat’ – Mike
‘I was this close to going up to them and saying, “Can I kick your ball?”’ – Elis
‘Steff said, “If you go back now and do that, I’ll give you £15”’ – Mike
‘Perfectly prepared to look like a pillock and wear 5-6-7 maybe even 8 hats’ – Elis
‘I looked like some sort of weird Britney Spears’ – Mike
‘Shitney Spears’ – Steff
‘I ended up being pro-Columbus’ – Mike
‘Do hares and rabbits get on?’ – Elis
‘Hence your anti-hare rhetoric’ – Mike
‘I’ve never eaten a bear’ – Mike
‘I want a very large man, very well hung’ – Steff
‘I’ve never tried trifle’ – Elis
‘Anyone who gives fruit as a dessert is a ball bag’ – Mike
‘Who you should be angry at are these two in there’ – Steff
‘She’s not my mum, is she?’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Dafydd Iwan singing Yma o Hyd, Wales v Austria – link – (Elis)
Goalkeepers hoofing it – link – (Steff)
NHL referee tells Haydn Fleury to fuck off – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Spirit Game: Pride of a Nation – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Norwich fans pretend they’ve scored – link – (Elis)
Atalanta’s Moustapha Cisse, 18, comes off the bench to score on Serie A debut – link – (Steff)
David Frost interviews Brian Clough in 1974 – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Resilience by Elise Christie – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 105: End Of The Road
11 April 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I sat next to Jason Statham’ – Elis
‘I think Statham could batter Mike’ – Elis
‘One-metre diving. How’s that an event?’ – Mike
‘You drinking piss, Mike’ – Elis
‘I won’t do the accent again’ – Mike
‘I stood at the front of the queue, like some sort of modern-day Moses’ – Mike
‘I kept banter to a minimum. You are dealing with, with the greatest respect, pond life’ – Mike
‘I’m not playing Birmingham again’ – Steff
‘And now Elis James doing Boyz 2 Men’ – Mike
‘Send me a bit of Spanish cedar‘ – Mike
‘I don’t like using the word “moist”’ – Mike
‘He’s his mother’s son’ – Elis
‘No one mentioned corpses’ – Steff
‘You know it’s gone wrong when you’re drinking your own pies’ – Elis
‘She steams her vagina?’ – Mike
‘I personally wouldn’t give you the steam off my piss’ – Mike
‘I hope I never have to drink my own piss’ – Elis
‘Semen tastes all right’ – Mike
‘I’ll drink my own piss. I’ll do it for the patreons’ – Elis
‘There are 20 bell-ends in every school’ – Steff
‘Boffins and dweebs’ – Steff
‘I went up on the stage. I said “You’re full of shit”’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
John Noakes – link – (Mike)
Louis Van Gaal referring to QPR as Queen’s Park Raisins – link – (Elis)
Jeff Wilson plays rugby union and cricket for New Zealand – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Losers: Lost In The Desert – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
A refugee finds out is he eligible to enroll for his local team – link – (Elis)
The 1972 world tiddlywinks championship – link – (Steff)
RG Snyman – link – (Mike)
BOOK
A Delicate Game by Hana Walker-Brown – link – (Mike)

EPISODE 106: Feeding The Rabbits
18 April 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Another make-up lady told me I have lovely skin’ – Mike
‘Ooh, Jason Orange’s bum covered in blancmange’ – Mike
‘Right, you don’t like trifle, you don’t fancy Jason Orange and you don’t think Neil Diamond’s a singer-songwriter. You’re a fucking nob’ – Mike
‘I bet your mum fancied Jason Orange’ – Mike
‘Did the ottomans ever set up direct debits?’ – Elis
‘Maybe I’m just hard?’ – Elis
‘The problem is I take cocaine at football’ – Elis
‘I once knew of a man in Carmarthen who put a Creme Egg down his foreskin’ – Elis
‘He’s got the most singed anus in Europe’ – Elis
‘It’s just this berk’ – Mike
‘Can you put a flare up your arse in Qatar?’ – Steff
‘I had a little bit of trolling going on the other day’ – Mike
‘Clog’ – Steff
‘He said “Please can you undo my bathers”’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Doncaster Rovers ‘Shot of the Month’ – link – (Elis)
Wales C beating England C – link – (Steff)
Qatar and Fifa – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Losers: Black Jack – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Barcelona v Real Madrid, Women’s Champions League Quarter Final – link & link – (Steff)
Gary Lineker on playing for Barcelona – link – (Elis)
The art of the chop tackle – link – (Mike)
BOOK
The Perfect Distance: Coe and Ovett by Pat Butcher – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 107: Sugar Cubes And Chill
25 April 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I would just like a front door on my toilet‘ – Elis
‘He goes, “I don’t want you thinking I’ve followed you into the toilet”’ – Mike
‘If I’m having a shit, do not come in’ – Mike
‘You’re like my wife in many ways’ – Mike
‘I didn’t mean to look like Ron Burgandy’ – Mike
‘Imagine noshing off John Major’ – Mike
‘I’ve seen photos of me dressed as a bee growing up’ – Steff
‘One of us is well out of order’ – Mike
‘Take your hands off him. I’ve changed his nappies’ – Steff
‘If you’ve got any sexual problems, give me a shout’ – Mike
‘Shat yourself and enjoyed it’ – Steff
‘Someone threw an Indian takeaway over his car’ – Mike
‘Mike: You’re fifty and you’re devastatingly obese’ – Elis
‘You won’t find an angrier person than me’ – Mike
‘Most of these people will be Bubbins away’ – Steff

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Duncan Ferguson’s most fearsome moments – link – (Elis)
First ball of the cricket season – link – (Steff)
Forgeside RFC’s game-winning conversion by tight-head prop, Connor Griffiths – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Norton’s Coin – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
World Rugby Sevens attempt to kick the ball off the field – link – (Steff)
Surfing, bloody hell – link – (Elis)
Mark Williams scores back-to-back 147s – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Fat City by Leonard Gardner – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 108: You Throw Like A 120 Year Old Man
9 May 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Then I just smoke crack and get in the car’ – Mike
‘I was making promises that my kidneys just couldn’t keep’ – Mike
‘I’m faster than you’ – Mike
‘Kelly’s mother, when her arthritis flares up, might run as slowly as this’ – Mike
‘In fairness to Adam Ricketts…’ – Elis
‘All your half-baked theories about speed have been blown out of the water’ – Mike
‘All my joints are ruined’ – Mike
‘Is there any torture in it?’ – Steff
‘You’re a dick’ – Mike
‘I will dap you’ – Elis
‘You don’t want the strapline to be, “Distant Pod: 95% dildos”?’ – Steff
‘Spend it all on dildos’ – Elis
‘It’s a democracy, unfortunately’ – Mike
‘Get lost, you fucking moochy fucks’ – Mike
‘Luckily, she throws like Elis’ – Mike
‘Joe Rodon should run our economy’ – Steff

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Katie Taylor v Amanda Serrano – link – (Elis)
Adam Ricketts running 100m and The Big Race 2045 – link & link – (Mike)
East Germany beating West Germany at football – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Legends of Welsh Sport: John Dawes – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Dad catching a fly ball at the Cincinnati Reds baseball game – link – (Mike)
Luton Town win the League Cup in 1987 – link – (Steff)
Joe Rodon and Ben Davies visit Ryley Keys – link – (Elis)
BOOK
The Wit of Cricket by Barry Johnston – link – (Mike)

EPISODE 109: It’s A Lot Smaller, But A Lot Harder
16 May 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Steve Jobs can keep on spinning in his grave, as far as I’m concerned’ – Mike
‘MacBook, my arse’ – Mike
‘Stop punching people, Mike ‘ – Steff
‘I came on dressed as Ian Paisley for a laugh’ – Mike
‘Not my words, the words of Wikipedia’ – Elis
‘You’d be a bit pissed off if you were the monkey’ – Mike
‘It’s not called Welsh Kissing, is it?’ – Mike
‘Makes it sound like you’re giving dogs a lift’ – Elis
‘It’s usually me, Bella Emberg, in a paddling pool full of jelly’ – Mike
‘I’m getting paid by Big Ham’ – Steff
‘The boner thing is funny’ – Steff
‘I keep getting kicked out of the gym for having a raging stalk on’ – Mike
‘I’ve got a perfectly reasonable kale hard-on’ – Elis
‘I’ve got a four-incher and I’m not afraid to use it’ – Mike
‘The top guy at Big Cheese… what’s he called?’ – Steff
‘Your long, soft boner’ – Elis

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Rangers fan uses the C-word – link – (Elis)
Ugo Monye’s drop goal – link – (Steff)
Michael Barrymore and Freddie Starr are utter dross at Wembley – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Game Changers – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
How to make a cricket ball: 1949 vs 2022 – link & link – (Steff)
Man City are relegated – link – (Elis)
AFL press conference – link – (Mike)
BOOK
We Go Again by Tim Cooper – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 110: I Came, I Saw, I Coasted
23 May 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I’m one of the most intelligent people I know’ – Mike
‘You can’t deny the fact I’m intelligent’ – Mike
‘Loads of Nazis. Brilliant’ – Steff
‘I can’t imagine Sam Matterface doing it‘ – Elis
‘I wish you’d stop saying it to my kids‘ – Steff
‘That’s felching’ – Steff
‘Was it Kelly who said you don’t think?’ – Elis
‘First Reich: Shit. Second Reich: Shit. Third Reich: All right’ – Steff
‘If Wonga came to me and said “Here’s half a million”…’ – Mike
‘It feels like you’ve now put a hit out on her’ – Steff
‘I think he’s just… shitted’ – Steff

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Argentinian commentator who sings about goals – link – (Elis)
How Michael and Bruce Buffer found out they were brothers – link – (Steff)
Saint And Greavsie – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Audible – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Real Madrid fans trying to get back in during Champions League game v Man City – link – (Mike)
Canada qualifies for the World Cup – link – (Steff)
Liverpool and Chelsea fans after the FA Cup final – link – (Elis)
BOOK
Where The Cool Kids Hung Out by Steven Scragg – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 111: You Don’t Look At The Tele When You’re Texting
30 May 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘That biscuit’s fucked’ – Steff
‘He’s on Russian cadavers’ human growth hormone’ – Mike
‘I haven’t been on the pull for 18 years’ – Elis
‘I would love to be an anecdote’ – Mike
‘I’ve completely lost confidence in my groin’ – Elis
‘I saw Garry Monk in the monkey section’ – Mike
‘I had anxiety dreams all night and Mr Steff Garrero played a part in every one’ – Elis

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Rugby Sevens shithousery – link – (Mike)
Blackpool’s Jake Daniels comes out – link – (Elis)
GB ice hockey captain Jonathan Phillips gives pre-match instructions – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Tosh – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
1990-91 football club videos – link – (Elis)
Basketball playing kid wearing shirt #50 helps disabled player – link – (Mike)
Jack Grealish after Manchester City win the Premier League – link & link & link & link – (Steff)
BOOK
The Lost World Of Football by Derek Hammond – link – (Mike)

EPISODE 112: Weather Guessers
6 June 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘You go and Hof it’ – Steff
‘Big weather’s got him’ – Mike
‘You mad prick – there’s two dead people in a ditch’ – Mike
‘Thankfully, Ben goes to a rough school’ – Elis
‘Ok’ chip fat alley’ – Mike
‘I’m going to mutilate a mugger’ – Mike
‘I’ll be representing myself. Just me and a copy of the Magna Carta’ – Mike
‘I reckon I could beat a dog’ – Mike
‘A Shetland pony would be a piece of piss to fight’ – Mike
‘I love seeing blokes slapping each other around before a game’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Evel Knievel, UK-style, with Eddie Kidd – link – (Mike)
Gambling is legalised in the UK – link – (Steff)
Unseen limbs: Man Utd win the treble at the Nou Camp – link – & Maradona’s amazing goal v England, Mexico 1986 – link – (Elis)
DOCUMENTARY
The Jaws Of Victory – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
BBC News ticker says Manchester United are rubbish – link – (Steff)
How football positions are evolving – link – (Elis)
Motivation, 1980s rugby league style – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Playing to Win by Michael Lewis – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 113: I Know It‘s Only Bits
13 June 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I’m not going to name names…’ – Mike
‘I hate to say this Mike. I think it’s you’ – Elis
‘He did say he played the guitar, now I think of it’ – Mike
‘She said, “It’s £175”’ – Mike
‘Zippy, Bungle, all of them on there, are they?’ – Mike
‘Melon head size and mango head size’ – Steff
‘This is where I wish I hadn’t come home to watch The Chase with my mother in law’ – Mike
‘It was a great place to drink, despite the stink of piss’ – Steff
‘There was some old Scottish fella there. He looked like a pervert anyway, to be fair’ – Mike
‘He had a ring through his dick eye’ – Mike
‘I think three on his old boy is too much’ – Steff
‘Mike needs to clean his browsing history’ – Elis
‘Greggs is dead to me’ – Steff
‘Are you bad at parking, Mike?’ – Steff
‘You can park shit twice for that’ – Steff
‘I am having a go, yeah’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Rob Page’s father is proud of his son – link – (Elis)
Ethan Ampadu leads the singing (Osian McGuiness) – link – (Mike)
Joe Cordina wins the world title – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
Croatia: Defining A Nation – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Young Isla gets a place in the Aston Villa Academy – link – (Mike)
The three dutchmen at AC Milan (Van Basten, Gullit, Rijkaard) – link – (Elis)
Pride Month for Wales’ Women’s Team – link – (Steff)
BOOK
How A Welshman Won The Tour de France by Phil Stead – link – (Elis with Steff’s book)

EPISODE 114: I’m Gonna Be In Trouble Now For Losing A Card
20 June 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Precious little bum fun in this parish’ – Elis
‘I assumed you’d be fucking rubbish’ – Elis
‘Eyes down for the big Dutch gang bang’ – Mike
‘The gig is watermelon friendly’ – Elis
‘Magic’s a piece of piss’ – Mike
‘I’ve been kicked up the arse a few times’ – Steff
‘I can sing any song you want me to sing. It’s a piece of piss’ – Mike
‘I’ll have a pint of Guinness and a big cushion please’ – Mike
‘I think they should pixelate your chest’ – Elis

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Eddie Butler on Phil Bennett – link – (Mike)
Phil Bennett on ‘that try’ – link – (Elis)
Report from Phil Bennett’s 70th birthday – link – (Steff)
DOCUMENTARY
We Beat The All Blacks – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Phil Bennett tells the speech story – link – (Steff)
Phil Bennett on BBC Wales – link – (Mike)
ITV‘s tribute to Phil Bennett – link – (Elis)
BOOK
Phil Bennett: The Autobiography by Phi Bennett and Graham Thomas – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 115: You’re On Drugs, Old Man
27 June 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I had to have a lie down with a cushion over my face’ – Elis
‘Long story short, I get down there: it’s a fucking Poundland’ – Mike
‘Mate, it’s a dog eat dog world out there’ – Mike
‘It’s like being on a Nicky Campbell phone-in’ – Steff
‘I said, “You’re called Bubbins. Of course it’s a name”’ – Mike
‘What size is her bra?’ – Elis
‘I followed through last week’ – Mike
‘I went to have a fart, lifted a bottom cheek up, and full on shit myself’ – Mike
‘Big Randy Slapper’ – Mike
‘I said, “You speccie little cunt”’ – Mike
‘I’m trolling teenagers. What’s your problem?’ – Mike
‘If I can’t have two hours to debate a teenager, what can I do?’ – Mike
‘Don’t get suckered in by the Swiss’ – Mike
‘I used to trace page three back in the day’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Russian slapping – link – (Elis)
Roger Federer fan shows Roger his tattoo of Roger – link – (Steff)
American comic Orny Adams on Rugby Union – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Losers: Stone Cold – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Ronaldo turns up for a game of five-a-side – link – (Elis)
Oldest footage of baseball outside of USA – link – (Steff)
Seve Ballesteros being Seve – link – (Mike)
BOOK
Eagle Sports Annual 4: 1954 – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 116: Tim, I’m Leaving The Charlatans To Join the Beatles
4 July 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Two of the videos’ – Steff
‘Chuffed about your free pac-a-mac, though’ – Steff quoting Mike
‘You’re a spawny get’ – Mike
‘It’s about Elvis, you bell-end’ – Steff
‘Scabies would be my choice, I think’ – Elis
‘Competitive 69s?’ – Steff
‘Nudism itself is not illegal’ – Mike
‘He’s gone into Pret with his dick out?’ – Steff
‘She chinned Bob?’ – Elis
‘I didn’t kick him. I kneed him up the arse’ – Mike
‘You wouldn’t get Adolf Hitler Beckenbauer playing for Germany’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Jess Fishlock – link – (Elis)
Best saves at the European Championship – link – (Steff)
First women’s football international, 1972: Scotland v England – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
The Future of Women’s Football – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Marie-Antoinette Katoto skills & goals – link – (Elis)
Iceland captain, Sara Björk Gunnarsdóttir – link – (Steff)
BBC trailer for Euro 2022 – link – (Mike)
BOOK
The Rise, Fall and Rise Again of Women’s Football by Suzy Wrack – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 117: Use Your Probes On Newbon
18 July 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Their sports channel is beyond reproach’ – Elis
‘Literally, he said see you next Tuesday’ – Mike
‘And you haven’t had the good decency, Steff, to get Covid. Absolute fraud’ – Mike
‘Can I have some more pubes put in?’ – Steff
‘Speaking on penises’ – Mike
‘I want scabs. Definitely’ – Steff
‘Sorry, I was reading about cottaging’ – Steff
‘We all know what a bloody lovely bloke I am’ – Mike
‘Fuck the internet’ – Mike
‘You sound like Cher in Believe’ – Steff
‘I look like a complete tosser in all hats’ – Elis
‘You have got a big head’ – Steff
‘I’m such a techno twat’ – Mike
‘Google thinks I’m called Pete Tong’ – Mike
‘I haven’t read any books. I’m not gonna start with Titchmarsh’ – Mike
‘I would like you two to be destitute after I die’ – Steff
‘You’re on your way out already’ – Steff
‘You’re not Shane Warne or Phil Bennett. Go fuck yourself’ – Steff
‘If you get a javelin in the neck, you’re going down’ -Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Remarkable baseball kid, Adam Bender – link & link – (Mike)
John Aldridge v Mexico in 1994 World Cup – link – (Steff)
Amazing bit of volleyball – link – (Elis)
DOCUMENTARY
Losers: The Miscast Champion – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Ian Wright on Alan Sugar and women’s football – link – (Mike)
Filbert Bayi smashes the 1500m world record – link – (Steff)
Replica football kits are the next big thing – link – (Elis)
BOOK
The Uncomfortable Truth About Racism by John Barnes – link – (Steff)

EPISODE 118: Wooing A Woman Made Of Flowers
25 July 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘Classic igloo anal’ – Steff
‘My pop shot is second to none’ – Mike
‘I got a problem with my dick eye’ – Steff
‘Keep the ol’ vag for pleasure, I say’ – Mike
‘Not a real monkey!’ – Mike
‘Kelly’s life is like a constant biblical test’ – Elis
‘I can throw a football further than him. Who gives a fuck?’ – Mike
‘You Elis Jamesed it?’ – Steff
‘In a rare non fuck-up…?’ – Mike
‘Fuck yeah, I am a walking thesaurus’ – Steff
‘I was gonna make a bloody good point then. Take my word for it’ – Mike
‘My balls are sweating and I’m overheating’ – Mike
‘Do not screenshot that’ – Mike
‘I’m taking a photo of my eyeball’ – Elis
‘I’m not putting £60,000 behind a bar’ – Steff
‘My friends, Tom and… er, Terry…’ – Mike
‘Those trousers are absolute rascals’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Elvis playing football – Chile – (Mike)
Geoff Thompson karate – Chile – (Steff)
Pre-match huddle, British Lions 1997 – link – (Elis)
DOCUMENTARY
Legends of Welsh Sport: Alan “The Arrow” Evans – link – (Mike)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Ice rugby from 1950 – link – (Mike)
Tier two rugby teams scoring crackers – Chile & Georgia & Spain & Portugal – (Steff)
Rugby league limbs – link – (Elis)
BOOK
My Turn: The Autobiography by John Cruyff – link – (Elis)

EPISODE 119: His And Hers Matching Porn Rooms
1 August 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I had a brown piss’ – Mike
‘I’m not a dickhead’ – Steff
‘I’m not honest in the way sociopaths are honest’ – Mike
‘I’m thinking of putting a bag of peas on my computer’ – Elis
‘You’ve created a dirty book dungeon’ – Elis
‘It’s warmer than usual, you fucking thick twat’ – Elis
‘Bella’s brother’ – Steff
‘I can hold that piece of information for longer than no seconds’ – Mike
‘Imagine if like Space Oddity had featured Frannie Lee’ – Mike
‘I didn’t think I was better than you, even though I am obviously better than you’ – Mike
‘They will need a kind of space blu-tack’ – Elis
‘Forgotten what I was going to say now. It was interesting though’ – Mike
‘I’d love to be your boyfriend’ – Elis
‘I’ve shagged my nan, I don’t know what’s going on’ – Mike
‘He can have a glimpse of my flaccid penis but no more’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
The Simpsons on football – link – (Elis)
Detroit Lions do BVs on What’s Going On – link – (Steff)
Justin Harrison’s Rugby World Cup silver medal – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
LEADMAN: The Dave Mackey story – link – (Steff)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
Jamie Carragher and Roy Keane – Agree to Disagree  – link – (Elis)
FC Köln put a bodycam on Tim Lemperle – link – (Steff)
Eden Hazard doing keepy-uppies with an NFL ball – link – (Mike)
BOOK
The Bleus Brothers by Mike Pearce – link – (Mike)

EPISODE 120: That’s Earnie From The Two Ronnies
8 August 2022
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TOP QUOTES
‘I’m very thin-skinned’ – Mike
‘I’m not saying you’re a sociopath’ – Mike
‘I can sit on the floor and play Thomas The Tank Engine until I’m blue in the face’ – Steff
‘All went in the move’ – Steff
‘Jessie’s fit’ – Mike
‘I remember that Ginsters’ – Steff
‘Condoms. As if’ – Mike
‘I got done for a public order offence’ – Mike
‘I can’t text in a wig’ – Elis
‘She’s shorter than Mam’ – Elis
‘When I do pleasure myself, I use my left hand’ – Mike
‘He makes me sound emotional’ – Steff
‘You two morbid fucks seem to mention this an awful lot’ – Mike
‘He was a man of enormous girth’ – Mike
‘The kids were brought up by Tony Gubba’ – Elis
‘I’d be more of a shit-stirrer umpire’ – Steff
‘Sadly lacking in goats, if you ask me’ – Mike

ROUND ONE CLIPS
Gareth Bale’s first touch in the MLS for Los Angeles – link – (Elis)
Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce wins 100m – link – (Steff)
Nasser Hussain and David Lloyd put their umpire skills to the test! – link – (Mike)
DOCUMENTARY
Daily Euros: All About Van Basten – link – (Elis)
ROUND TWO CLIPS (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
CBS Report: NFL Today, 1977 – link – (Mike)
Virat Kohli v James Anderson battle of words  – link – (Elis)
Lloyd Lewis, rugby sevens – link & link – (Steff)
BOOK
Breakfast Club Adventures: The Beast Beyond The Fence by Marcus Rashford & Alex Falase-Koya – link – (Steff)